It's how I live my life; I wouldn't have it any other way.

As per usual, the title of this blog comes from a metal track and is completely unrelated to anything I may or may not talk about in here.

But let's make this more interesting. Instead of cookies (which I cannot send, unfortunately, due to certain restrictions), the first person to guess the song gets to pick a band, genre, topic, etc. for me to talk about/lecture on/abuse in my next blog post. Does that sound interesting?

Killing two birds with one stone, so to speak; you have an incentive to start listening to some good thrash metal, and I have something to actually talk about, because for now I'm just gonna talk briefly about some different genres of heavy metal.

If there's one thing that annoys me, it's... people who blast hip-hop music at full volume with subwoofers that register an 8.2 on the Richter scale. But another pet peeve of mine is people who take anything that could be classed as metal, whether it's the smooth melodies of Bon Jovi or the vulgar brutality of Cannibal Corpse or anything in between, and lump it all under "METAL - DO NOT WANT".

The flavours of metal are almost as varied as those of ice-cream. Actually... that's not entirely accurate, given the state of ice-cream these days. Just walking into Cold Rock Ice Creamery blows my mind - there are, like, five different flavours for chocolate. And I know that's only the tip of the iceberg, but hey, Cold Rock is about the best and most expensive ice-creamery I have access to, so leave me be.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here, comparing metal to ice-cream. Who'd'a thunk it, eh? Next thing you know I'll be talking about how a Trivium album is like a Magnum ice-cream, ordinary enough until you bite into it and begin to devour the metaphors and nuances that lie beneath the exterior...

Actually, that's just a crock of lies; a Trivium album is amazing at first glance, even just from the artwork.

I'm getting sidetracked again. Next time that happens, feel free to play Slipknot, which has a tazer-like effect on me. It's like a shock collar for dogs; sooner or later, I'll learn to stick to the fucking topic, eh?

MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

The first type of metal that one should be acquainted with is the "classic" heavy metal. Study up on these three bands: Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, and Iron Maiden. At least one of those names should be familiar to you, and if I know anything it won't be Priest. Sadly, they're like the classics no-one knows about - not as publicly renowned as Maiden and Sabbath, but still just as vital.

You know what, I'm going to give you a playlist. So check out these songs and you should get a taste of ye olde heavy metal in its earliest form.

Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast. I know, I know, everyone knows it now because of Guitar Hero III, but it does NOTHING to change the fact that this is one of the definitively amazing songs of the metal genre. Check out everything - the odd time signatures and catchy riffs, the prominent basslines, and Bruce Dickinsons's soraing, near-operatic vocals. Quite different to the death metal most immediately think of, eh?
Black Sabbath - Paranoid. Built around the one riff, but honestly, you can't tell me it's a damn catchy one. This is like the 1970s metal version of Seven Nation Army.
Black Sabbath - Iron Man. I only just heard this, and I encourage you to do the same. Commence angry messages flaming me for having not heard Iron Man sooner.
Judas Priest - Breaking the Law. What is it with these classic metal bands and insanely catchy guitar riffs? Watch this and get back to me.
Judas Priest - Hell Bent for Leather. The first Priest song I ever heard, and still a fave. Seriously.
Dio - Holy Diver. A friend managed to get me to listen to this. For this, Sean, if you're reading this, I am in your debt. (I'm working on acquiring a discography now.)

To be fair, Dio and Maiden came along a bit later than Priest and Sabbath. Also, Dio isn't actually in the Holy Trinity. Though he should be. It must be a quadrology.

Let us make it so.

There are a whole slew of other bands I could namedrop here (AC/DC, Blue Oyster Cult, Led Zeppelin, Queen), but those four are the ones I'm most familiar with, so I encourage you to check 'em out.

Hey hey hey, I never said this was a definitive blog, the be-all and end-all. It's just my opinions and experiences. Deal with it, check out the music, and grab a brownie on the way out.

Next time: whatever you request of me, plus a new genre for you all. Maybe death. Everyone loves death, eh?

Welcome to my nightmare.

So. Here we are. Or here I am, at any rate, as I doubt anyone is reading this except maybe Sami Cyanide who encouraged me to begin this in the first place, ni?

'Twas Sami who more or less told me to start writing this up as a sort of music zine. Said she could see me taking the world by storm. So I suppose I'd better do some musical talkin's, eh?

Let me just say that I am a metalhead first, and I will write as such. I may or may not swear, and I do make EXTREMELY frequent use of the universal \m/ sign. Also, expect me to mention 666 at least once in every entry.

I will most likely be talking about the music I have spent the day/days/week listening to, which spans over about four decades, from Judas Priest to bands in my hometown that haven't even been signed yet. If you're lost, it's probably just whiplash; don't let it get to you baby, there's plenty more where that came from.

Maybe I'll just tell you how I came to discover my current musical taste.

At the moment, I listen to a bizarre blend of all genres of metal, Gothic rock, Gothic pop, dark ambient, post-hardcore, dark cabaret, horror punk and the occasional "guilty pleasure", such as Savage Garden or The White Stripes. This radical shift from my pre-metal days of radio-packaged rock was brought upon in mid-late 2006, when my friend Tim brought his iPod and a set of speakers to school and played a few Ayreon tracks for us. Day Three: Pain hooked me in at once, and I was blown away by the emotion, so unlike anything I'd heard on the radio.

I devoured Ayreon, and early in 2007, another friend who goes by the name of Skelli allowed me to copy her CD collection onto the family computer. I spent the next three weeks listening to Nightwish, Wednesday 13, Cradle of Filth and The Used. To say I was hypnotized is an understatement.

On a whim, I picked up a copy of the Headbanger's Ball compilation while I was in Queensland for my father's wedding. Songs like Anthrax's Safe Home, Lamb of God's Ruin, and especially Slayer's Raining Blood helped me to simultaneously piss off my aunt and let go of my troubles, watching them flitter away on the Brisbane breeze like broken faerie wings. I will warn you now - I am a poet by nature, and I will lapse into speech you may or may not understand.

When I arrived back in good ol' SA, I purchased Anthrax's Anthrology: No Hit Wonders, featuring the hits from the Joey Belladonna-era, and Slayer's masterpiece Reign In Blood. The song that really cinched my fate for me was Angel of Death. If you haven't heard it, listen to it. Right. Fucking. Now. If you know it and love it, you know what I'm referring to - Tom Araya's high-pitched scream at the beginning, which he brings wailing right down into a guttural yell. As soon as I heard that, there was no turning back for me.

It was around the middle of last year that I began to expand my tastes to the Gothic as well, devouring dark cabaret artists in particular, such as The Dresden Dolls, Emilie Autumn, and the ever-amazing Voltaire. After all, one cannot live on metal alone.

As for Savage Garden and The White Stripes?... let's just leave them alone. And me. leave me alone on that matter, please.

Now I sit here with my hodgepodge of music, and wonder what on earth I am to talk to you all about.

I'll sign off for now, as Printmaking homework beckons, but I shall not go into detail of that on this blog.

Don't forget to hit me up on Deviant ART - http://XburiedinblackX.deviantart.com

I think you're gonna feel you belong.
~Ronnie